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October 14th, 2006

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September 4th, 2006

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August 22nd, 2006

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August 9th, 2006

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July 30th, 2006

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July 12th, 2006

12:20 am - once in a while it's funny how quickly things can change- funny in that terrifying sort of way. last week i thought i knew who i was and who, quite frankly, always intended to be- or at least until college. somewhere in my head i got this notion- people may change, but me- i'll change at milestones. i was this person in gradeschool, and then my personality did a little bit of a switch in highschool, and then moving i changed a lot then too i suppose (yes i know i probably sound scitso) i had prepared myself to be this person for the remainder and just add to it, or change it, in college. i liked the fact that people could expect me to behave a certain way. if people thought they knew who i was, then i guess i knew who i was. but these past couple days i feel like i don't have control over anything. every decision i make, i'm torn. i find myself doing things so unlike me and it scares the living hell out of me. i like the consistency of my "milestone" way of thinking. I somehow seemed to give my life a schedule, which if you know me, i love. now it's a jumbled around and i can't decide whether to embrace it or run scared. it's late. i'm sober. time for bed. Current Mood: "hmm"ing Current Music: Panic! at the disco

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May 5th, 2006

11:34 pm - Insecurities Weigh Heavy Tonight This entry is deticated to the one and only Allison Downes, who claims she reads everyone of my livejournal entries. It's funny how in one instant you can be flooded with so many emotions: Anger, happiness, dissappointment, relief. Tonight, at the end, was one of those nights. The night was neither fantastic nor horrible, yet it was very fun. I love hanging out with so many different groups and people yet at the same time I feel stretched so thin. I long for consistency but my life has never been like that. i don't know what I want... i just know I need some things to change. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Mary Jane

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April 27th, 2006

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April 6th, 2006

05:38 pm Yay My Pretty Phone!!! So yeah I got a fabulous new phone BUT I lost all my numbers because my old one broke... so GIVE ME YOUR NUMBERS BITCHES Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Ringtone Options

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March 22nd, 2006

11:06 pm - I'm Alive So I for sure have not updated in at least 7.321 years and I'm really sorry about that. Here's the jist of my life for the past... well however long it's been. I got a job serving for banquets at a golf coarse/country club thing... REALLY FUN, LOOOOOVE IT! We had spring break last week and I went down to Mexico for the Mission Trip and it was actually really really fun. Choir can suck balls because I hate hate my director! Technology, including my CD disk thing on my computer, car, and cell phone HATE ME... SO if you're trying to get a hold of me send me a e-mail or call me if it's before 9:30... yeah that's my house for you That's pretty much it Oh yeah I miss you all terribly. Where's all these road trips that I was supposed to get? Loves yahs! Current Mood: not dead Current Music: Tell me On a Sunday

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February 16th, 2006

11:40 pm - Cloud Seven Opening of the play was today. Had a matinae during school today then official opening night tonight. It went really well. I "forgot" to mention to my parents that I was the slut of the play so that was interesting. My dad said I was the floosy... haha. Drama drama drama with school caused by our newspaper. Stupid people. That's really it. Love yah Current Mood: sleepy

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February 10th, 2006

06:37 am - Craziness So I haven't updated in quite some time b/c my life is pretty busy right now. The play is next weekend and I feel so unprepared for it. Yikes. This weekend is goign to be insane! Tonight I have play practice and then like half hour before the basketball game. Then tomorrow morning I have the ACTS and WPA (women pay all) aka turnabout that night. I'm looking forward to it so much! Then Sunday I have play practice at 1:00. And Sunday night is Spanish project, homework, and Grey's Anatomy time. Busy. I have to pick my classes for next year. Senoir year is not goign to be fun. I'm considering taking a chemistry class at the community college for credit through my school. Who knows? Time for school.... Current Mood: awake

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January 26th, 2006

09:07 pm - Pressure It's scary being a junior and having only 1 1/2 more semesters of high school left. Recently I've really been feeling the pressure of college and my future. It's so weird looking at colleges and thinking about my career. I'm the type of person whois just like eh, we'll see what happens but i don't know. I feel like I'm being forced to choose where I want to go next year and who I want to be in 5 years, right now. I honestly no idea. I have ambitions, but they seem just that... too ambitious. I'm sure it will work itself out, but in the meantime I'm forced worrying and stressing over testing, grades, tuitions, scholorships...fun stuff. Side note: I'M PISSED! THIS OC THING IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL. I HATE KAITLIN! Current Mood: blah

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January 21st, 2006

02:44 am - Note the time So yeah, 2:45 in the morning and just finished watching Phantom of the Opera. It's such a good movie, oh my gosh! Amazing music + love triangles= my kind of movie. Well I don't know what to do with myself.... sleep, pish posh no way jose. Until next time... watch out for the Phantom of the Opera Current Mood: worried Current Music: Phantom of the Opera

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January 16th, 2006

10:09 pm ugggghhhh.... you are annoying me so much. How about you stop saying you're my friend and actuallly do it. Call, see me when I visit, talk to me in times other than when you're in crisis! If you think this is about you, then it probably is... Current Mood: annoyed

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12:31 am - New things I love meeting new people and trying new things! It keeps life intereseting. As much as I miss people back in Brookfield, I really enjoy the hustle and bustle of never doing the same thing twice. I've lived here over 7 months and I'm still meeitng people for the first time. I LOVE it! This weekend was a weekend of a few firsts.... and probably not the lasts Current Mood: bouncy

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January 13th, 2006

06:31 am - Happy Faces Sorry about the lack of updates lately. Let me get you caught up before I rant... Christmas break was great! I went to WI and that was fabulous. I'm sorry if I didn't see/ didn't get to spend a ton of time with you! I had so much fun though! I probably won't be able to visit again until summer.... which brings me to my ranting. It's so hard to watch people change, especially when it's for the worse. Going back I was shocked about how many people had a whole new set of priorities. I understand time can't freeze, change happens, yeah I get it but does that mean that people have to become someone you don't recognize? I was shocked how when I came to visit, that the people that I couldn't wait to see and speak to most often were like blah hey okay well I have to go hang out with more important people. Sweet, see you in six months? It was just dissapointing in that aspect. Oh well it's 6:37 and I must get ready for school so I'll post about tonight and junk later, soon later I miss and love you ali my dear! Current Mood: yawny Current Music: alarm clock

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December 27th, 2005

11:29 pm - Birthday AH, today was such a fun day! My dad woke me up at like 7:30/8 to take the car to get fixed and then I went back to bed. I was woken up by a bunch of girls and they made me put on ridiculous clothes and go to breakfast that way. Then a few of us went to this random ass statue that we named Daddy Phelps. You don't even understand how random this statue is. It's this HUGE man leaning back and his upper body is sticking out of the rocks along with his feet and the rest is supposed to look like it's burried or something, I don't know. but it's behind all these neighborhoods on a tiny street. So we took 23423 pictures on this giant statue and decided to go vintage shopping in Westport. Fun fun Let's see, then I went home and rested then did cake and presents. Tonight was a little of a bust. We went to 2 parties but left b/c I really don't know why, just had a bad feeling and it turns out both times the cops came about 5 minutes later to break it up. Lucky. that about sums it up. Have a lot to do before friday. I say bah humbug to people think bdays are just a day and not a big deal. BAH HUMBUG Current Mood: energetic

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December 26th, 2005

12:56 am - Merry Belated Christmas Well all in all Christmas was very enjoyable. It was Grayson's bday as well so she was even more the center of attention then normal. Thought I'd give you the highlights of the Smith Family Christmas this year... 1. During church Christmas eve, while everyone was singing, my 4-year old brother Carter just sang high pitch noises 2. Carter seeing what Santa brought him, then DIVING under the tree to grab the "big box" and ripping it open all in about .3423 seconds 3. Grayson having about 2142 mood swings and getting away with it because it was her birthday 4. Yeah, too lazy to continue...but you get the idea IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!!!!1 Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Johnny Cash: Ring of Fire

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December 24th, 2005

01:47 am - almost done Ah, tonight was so much fun. Jill and I met up with these St. Theresa girls (all girl schoool) and we all went ice-skating. I was soooo bad. Actually, I take that back, I was really good up until the stopping part. Then I just ran into the wall or fell. My bum hurts so bad right now. Let's see.. so then we went to this sketch part of Kansas City like half hour away and had food at this little Mexican restaurant... so good! We've decided that from now on we're going to go to a sketch, ethnic restaurant each week. Next week is Greek. After dinner we went to this kid's house and just hung out. Such a random/ awesome night. I have been making Christmas presents for the past two nights and I am so close to being done. I'm so impressed with myself. I took those multi glass picture frames that are 3D-ish and put pictures on the sides and glitterfied them and along the border of the glass I put quotes about friendship. It's fabulous! I only had enough energy to make 5 though. Oh well. I officially visit in less than a week (wow it's already too) I have to wrap 234723 presents now. Muah Current Mood: sore Current Music: RENT (still)

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